The inner critic is a feeling that each of us carries within ourselves. For some, it is very strong – constantly reminding of mistakes, doubts, and weaknesses. For others, it is less pronounced – like a small ant crawling on your neck: an irritating sensation, but not so intrusive.
There are moments when this inner voice can be helpful – to motivate us to grow and become better. But when it becomes too strict and merciless, it starts to undermine our self-confidence and hinders us from realizing our full potential.
Some people manage to control this feeling when it gets 'too loud.' For others, however, this is extremely difficult, and sometimes it even seems impossible. The good news is that we can learn to manage our inner critic and even turn it into our ally. It takes time, practice, and a change in mindset, but the result is more confidence, calmness, and the ability to achieve our goals.
If you want to learn a few tricks on how to do this – read below. And if you are interested in how we can best take care of and understand our feelings, you can read. here.
1. Recognize the voice of the inner critic
The first step is to become aware of when the inner critic speaks. This is the voice that says, 'You are not good enough,' 'You will fail,' 'There is no point in trying.' Writing down these thoughts or simply observing them helps us distance ourselves from them and understand that they are not absolute truths, but merely inner doubts.
2. Change the way you talk
The way you talk to yourself is extremely important. If you constantly tell yourself 'I can't', 'I don't deserve', your brain starts to accept these words as facts. Try to replace criticism with a softer and more supportive inner dialogue: 'I will try', 'I can handle this', 'Mistakes are part of learning'. This is not empty optimism, but building a healthy attitude towards yourself.
3. Accept that mistakes are normal
Many people fall victim to their inner critic because they believe they must be perfect. The truth is that mistakes are an inevitable part of life and the best teacher. Instead of blaming yourself for every mistake, ask yourself the question: 'What can I learn from this?' This way, you transform from your own accuser into your own coach.
4. Compare yourself to yourself, not to others
One of the strongest sources of internal criticism is the constant comparison with others – especially in the era of social media, where we only see the 'perfect' side of people's lives. Real progress comes when you compare your today's 'self' with your yesterday's 'self'. Even small steps forward are success and deserve recognition.
5. Practice gratitude and self-compassion
The inner critic feeds on the negative – on what is wrong. To balance this, spend time every day reminding yourself of three things you are grateful for and three qualities or achievements you are proud of. Gratitude and self-compassion build inner resilience and gradually quiet the critical voice.
6. Surround yourself with supportive people
The environment we live in is of great importance. If you often hear criticism from others, the likelihood of your inner critic becoming stronger is high. Therefore, choose people who support you, motivate you, and believe in you. When you have a healthy social environment, it becomes easier to believe in yourself.
7. Build confidence through small actions
Confidence does not appear suddenly – it is built through practice. The more actions you take, even small ones, the more evidence you will gather that you can do it. Try a new hobby, express an opinion in a conversation, do something that scares you. Every little action is a brick in the wall of self-confidence.
8. Work on your body
It sounds simple, but physical activity plays a huge role in our mental state. Movement releases endorphins – the happiness hormones – and helps us cope with stress and negative thoughts. When you take care of your body through sports, sleep, and balanced nutrition, it inevitably reflects on your confidence.
9. Create personal rituals for confidence
This can be a morning routine, a few minutes of meditation, breathing exercises, or positive affirmations. Such rituals prepare the mind for a calmer day and help set a boundary between you and the inner critic.
10. Seek professional help if needed
If your inner critic is too strong and negatively affects your life, do not hesitate to seek help from a psychologist or therapist. This is not a sign of weakness, but of courage and readiness to take care of yourself.
Self-confidence is not about being faultless – it is about believing that you can cope with your mistakes, that you deserve good things, and that you are worthy just as you are. The inner critic will never completely disappear. It will always be a part of us. But we can choose what role we give it: whether it will be a harsh judge that paralyzes us or a wise mentor that helps us grow. With small steps, a change in mindset, and self-care, we can build a strong self-confidence that supports us in every situation.
To conclude, I will share one of my favorites. TED Talk videos about self-criticism and I hope it helps you at least a little, just as it helped me.